I listened quietly to your discussion tonight.Gradually I sank into a painful way.I can't beliebe that you all think that human nature is evil.But many facts you have said prove the correctness  of this view.I want to refute your argument,but actually I have nothing to say.Because the sadly phenomenon is indeed true.So I just kept silent and began to reflect on the complexity of  life.And I asked myself,why can't I accept the cruel realities.This is life and maybe I even have no other choice.What is fair and what is human nature ?Is ethics really wothless?Puzzled...

 

Even though I do not want to change my mind stubbornly.I will not be sophisticated. Maybe I am so ignorant and naive.And perhaps I will be injured or lose something .But please let me have my own beautiful world until I tast a big lesson.I am just reluctant to believe.

 

Stay committed for a fulfilled life and stay detachched for an inviolable soul.It's good Motto, isn't it?

 

Oh, it's so late, i must go to bed and have a sweet dream.

Well，let me write  my blog in English , though my English is not very good. Maybe someone  has already known the reason why I have to use English.Yes,this is.And I would be happy if you want to leave some words in English or German. Please  do not use Chinese.(just a small request)

 

A few days ago , I wrote some blue  and sad words in my blog.And now I have to delet  it. And I'm so sorry that I let some of my friends be worried about me just beacuse of my personal  vulnerability.Well,it was indeed a bad day.Some  people  baffed me completelly.And I even suspected what I was doing wrong.But actually I did not do any bad things.And a series of unpleasant things happed  simultaneously.So I just in bad mood that day.Anyway,I was OK after chatting with my friends and let all the unhappiness went away with my tears.Life is beautiful,isn't it? I would like to thank my unremarkably daily life  and the people aroud me.I hope I colud never lose my smile to the coming days.

 

I want take this opportunity  to thank  Echo,Violet ,Kane and Leon.You are so nice and helpful.You know, you give me more strength  when I was in trouble.I was so moving by you all.And  specially Leon,you really give me lots of help and happiness in Germany.I even do not know how I can possibly thank you enough and hope I did not bring so much trouble to you. I will show you my gratitude by inviting you to dinner and wish  that we will have a good time.

 

Ok,let 's stop here and stay in contact.

我说不出那四个徘徊在三里屯服饰大厦里的清洁工有多穷，她们都 三十多岁了，聚在一角商量去吃两碗面条，谁也不敢打头，怕进那个里面装饰着荷花的餐厅。她们每天都拖着餐厅门口的地，每天都打扫餐厅旁边的厕所，每天都擦 着餐厅前面楼梯的把手。要到元旦了，餐厅门口的黑板上写着许多打折的菜名，菜名都很好听。她们在楼梯的角落里商量了半天，一个年纪大的才说，怕什么，三个 女人跟在她后面。餐厅的服务员吃惊地看着排着队进来的四个蓝衣服，还是那个年纪大的叫了饭。餐厅里灯光很亮，吃饭的顾客不停地看她们，她们就坐在亮处，脸 上红红的，高兴地说着话。我隔着玻璃，在心里深深地心疼着她们，脸上却呆呆的，好像我是另外一个人。

我说不出那个扛着铁镐走在建外SOHO的民工身上有多少土。他 的眼睫毛都没灰尘压住了，整个人是灰土的颜色。要过春节了，地铁口附近全是叫卖年货的人，等车的人，挤得走不动。他和他的伙伴们不用挤，人们为他们让开一 条路，他们像是刚刚从土堆里钻出来的，有的人背着一卷绳子，有的人拿着一个看不出颜色的尿素袋子，有的人什么也没有哪，佝偻着腰，裤子抽在半腿，灰土里露出满头扎眼的白头发。走着走着，扛着铁镐的人在一个卖小猪储蓄罐的地摊前面站下了，他呆看着红底撒着金粉的小猪，卖东西的人说，十块钱，十块钱，我还给你 个盒子。队伍里的一个伙伴说，赶紧走，买那个又没用。他说寄给小孩。看着，他又跟着队伍走了，一步三回头地望着，走到红绿灯那里，他突然又跑回来，什么也 没有说，从贴胸的口袋里掏出一张十块，把包好的小猪抱在肚子上走了。我远远的跟着他们，不知道走了多远，像一个神经病一样流着眼泪跟在他们后面，北京的冬 天风真大，真冷。

我说不出住在北京草场地村的那些出租车司机每天是怎么睡着的， 冬天，深夜一点，他们钻进不到一米六的低矮平房里，屋顶上只用砖头压着石棉瓦或者油毡，里面还有孩子的哭声。我说不出我的父亲在左眼是什么时候看不见的， 这个靠种地和卖凉皮供两个孩子上完大学的农民说，街上的瞎老汉不是多得很嘛，去医院有啥好看的，我迟早是要进土的人。

我说不出那个在新疆石河子老街口晒太阳、修自行车的老汉有多孤独，他坐在街边，一坐大半天，看下面农场来赶集的人，看着看着他就磕睡了，头一歪就睡着了，苍蝇爬在他当午饭的半个馕上，人们走来走去的，没有人喊醒他。

当我在出差的路上，啃着买来的一块馍馍，喝着矿泉水，看到和想 起这些不会留下名字的人，我知道，我和他们是一样的，尘土一样地落在我身上，饿了能吃上一晚饭，磕睡了有个地方躺下睡觉，能活下去就行了。我的父亲说， 《古兰经》里写，要是福气不在这一辈子，那它一定在下辈子。我小的时候跟着父亲放羊，最喜欢听头羊脖子上的铁铃声，只有那丁冬丁冬的声音，让人感到无限的 慰藉，也像是给人燃起希望的火花。羊能在厚厚的积雪和彻骨的寒风中行走，给人开辟出可走的道路。

我发誓，

我，

再也不做，

土豆饼了，

既费时又费力，

虽然口味还算可以，

但劳命伤财做这种饼，

付出和收获显然不成正比，

这是我第一次做，

可能也是最后一次了，

唉～～

还是鸡蛋饼好啊！！！

 

 

PS：感谢小余，老万，彦青帮我一起消灭掉这些饼。感谢heinz的夸奖，但当他说super的时候，我显然没勇气让他试吃一块，sigh～～，失败的饼啊～～